Everyone thinks Starcraft 2 is the greatest thing since sliced bread. And, while I agree that Starcraft 2 is a fantastic game, I can’t agree with the statement in its entirety.

I mean, where would we be without sliced bread? You can’t butter a piece of Starcraft 2 or make a turkey, bacon, and Starcraft 2 sandwich. It just doesn’t work. The Zerg start harvesting pickles and pretty soon you have a mutalisk problem in your kitchen. Furthermore, there aren’t any downsides to sliced bread. I certainly can’t remember a time when sliced bread kept me up until 6 AM on a work night.

Granted, Starcraft is the most popular RTS of all time, with sales spanning two decades and the game becoming a national sport in South Korea, but sliced bread has been around since 1928, when Frederick Rohwedder of Davenport, Iowa invented the first bread slicing machine, and has since become a worldwide phenomena! That makes it the longest running, most successful bread in history (eat that KeSPA)!

So, while Starcraft 2 is a perfectly balanced RTS game, set on a rich and imaginative landscape, I just can’t imagine a world where I’d have to slice my own bread. I think I could get by in a world without Starcraft 2, because there’s always the original Starcraft, but not without sliced bread… at least until they come out with sliced bread 2.

I am an avid StarCraft fan. Normally, one starts by saying something like that when they’re about to complain, but this isn’t that sort of post. I’ve been playing the beta of SC2, and, while I’m having to re-learn quite a bit, I’m loving it.

There are many reasons for this, but I’m going to hold off on talking about them until another post. This one is to ask you why you aren’t playing the beta, unless you are, in which case, never mind. But it’s also to pass along the news that an official released date, July 27, has been announced for SC2. As they say in the trailer, “Finally.”

If you’re currently saying, “Curse you and your beta key! I want one!” then you’re in luck. If you weren’t aware, many places will give you a beta key when you pre-order a copy of SC2. But, what if you don’t like pre-ordering? We’ve got that covered, too. If you go to EB Games or GameStop, you can put down a $5 down payment on a pre-order, and they’ll give you a beta key. If you want to abandon your deposit, no harm, no foul, and you still have a beta key.

You’re out of excuses. Go play StarCraft.

We recently made an attempt to appear as a top result for a trending Twitter topic (#ThingsIAintDoneYet) on Google, and it seemed like we should post the results of this little experiment. They are complete and abject failure, compounded with a sense of our own insignificance and a side order of indifference.

It turns out that, much to no one’s surprise, trending Twitter topics are viewed much like edible underwear to a starving, fashion-conscious nymphomaniac – they’re gobbled up very, very quickly. So not only did we fail to appear in the top results, we failed to appear at all in the full 25 pages of results.

One could argue that, being a gaming computer company, posting about PC Gamer would net us higher relevance (that being the post that prompted the experiment), but we choose to view this as an indictment of unscrupulous forces who had the same idea but do it better. We also choose to view the letter “Q” as an offense to right-thinking people everywhere, so you may want to take our opinions with a grain of salt.